But Then I wouldn't Be Sam Pucket Then Would I
by cece1090
Summary: Ok, so maybe I am a loser; a secret loser, well more like a closet loser.  How on earth did I Sam Pucket ever fall for the nerdy Freddie Benson?  Heaven only knows.  All I know is that I am totally mind crazy, brain racking in love with Freddie. *Fluff*


Ok, so maybe I am a loser; a secret loser, well more like a closet loser. How on earth did I Sam Pucket ever fall for the nerdy Freddie Benson? Heaven only knows. All I know is that I am totally mind crazy, brain racking in love with Freddie. Gah, it's so frustrating! I mean, I always had a problem keeping my hands to myself. There was this undeniable need to make his life miserable at every sparking opportunity. I needed to make his life a living hell. What's even worse is that I'm involved in this crazy love triangle that seems to have no end. Freddie loves Carly and I love Freddie. Who loves me? I'll tell you, a big fat no one! Well except maybe Gibby. Ugh, I can almost feel myself vomit now!

Carly, the girl that is apex of Freddie's fantasy; she's the girl who he lays in bed thinking about, the beautiful brunette who he can't have. Every time I see them together my heart sinks further in my chest, because the girl who he's so irrevocably in love with is nothing like me. I don't share anything in common with Carly at all. I'm not sweet and innocent. I mean, people think I'm going to end up in jail for the rest of my life for crying out loud. I'm not at all quiet like Carly, I'm more obnoxious.

Grr, just thinking about how vastly different we are is making me want to scream! I need to calm down though because we have Icarly practice really soon and if I go over there is this foul mood she'll just try to go all Dr. Phil on me and try to figure out what's wrong with me not knowing she's the reason I'm so ticked. Wow, that's a lot!

I quickly shake it off as I hear my phone buzz on my bed. I walk quickly over to it and see that it's a text from Carly.

_Where are you? _I read with confusion.

_In room eating, what else? _I type back rolling my eyes.

_WHAT! We have practice Sam! _I read her reply.

_Well duh obviously! It's at 5 just like it is always! _I write back then biting a chunk out of my licorice.

_YEAH! It's 5:15 you dork! Get over here! _Her reply came.

I mentally slapped myself, I mean here I was all pining after stupid Freddie and now I'm late for practice! I'm so going to kill him when I get there! This is all his fault to begin with! If it wasn't for him and all his handsomeness, I wouldn't be in this predicament in the first place!

I let out a huge sigh as I rush to get my stuff. I do a quick check in the mirror to see if I look ok, after all, Freddie is going to be there and I don't want to look completely horrid. My reflection stares harshly back at me. There isn't a lot I can fix anyways. My hair is up in a ponytail, I'm wearing a plain t-shirt and jeans with combat boots. Yeah, I look like a total guy, but I'm late for practice and I wouldn't know where to even start with changing my image.

Some people say that's a bad thing, wanting to change who you are for a guy but I actually wanted to look prettier just didn't have a clue how or the guts to ask for help. I'm Sam Pucket for crying out loud, I don't care about fashion or all that beauty crap! I just like pranking people and making everyone's lives miserable! Well, I actually do care about how I look; I'm just never go to admit that out loud. I grab a Dr. Pepper out the fridge before I run out the door and down the hallway. When I reach Carly's door I just swing it open and barge in.

"Hello! Doesn't anybody ever knock anymore! I mean really!" A guys says and I know without thinking who it is.

I turn around and find Spencer on the floor with a bunch of metal scraps surrounding him. A small laugh escapes from my lips and I bring my hand over my mouth to keep myself from all out laughing in general.

"Uh Spencer, what are doing laying in all that crap?" I ask while giggling at his frustrated form still laying on the floor.

"This 'crap' happens to have been my sculpture before someone so rudely barged in and knocked it over!" He said in a clipped tone.

"Well maybe you shouldn't be building your sculpture right behind the door idiot and it wouldn't get ruined." I say matter of factly and giggle again at how wide his eyes have just now gotten. "Now, I think we can both say that I've taught you a valuable lesson Spencer!" I finish skipping towards the stairs.

"I was carrying it out the door Pucket!" I hear him yell behind me!

"Whatever Spencer, make up all the excuses you want but it is only going to hurt you in the future!" I say all bubbly as I run up the stairs.

I hear him yelling behind me, but I can't quite make out what he's saying exactly. I reach the studio doors and swing them open. Carly is sitting on a beanbag reading a script while biting her nails and Freddie is messing around on his computer.

"Well what are you guys waiting for? Practice started almost thirty minutes ago and here I catch you guys slacking off! I mean really guys, am I the only one who takes this show seriously?" I say in a serious tone.

Immediately Carly stands up and I see she's angry.

"Really Sam? Is this really necessary considering you're the one who can't seem to show up for practice on time?" She says condescendingly.

"It's Freddie's fault." I say shrugging my shoulders walking over to the table.

"What? How is this possibly MY fault!" He replies all angrily.

"Uh, because everything's always your fault Benson," I say picking up a script and haphazardly reading it.

"You know Sam, it would be nice if for once you could just take responsibility." Carly says icily walking over to the table.

"Yeah but then I wouldn't be your best friend." I say flipping through the pages.

"Well you know what! I'm tired of always putting up crap with you!" Carly now yells.

I look at her briefly in the eye and notice how mad she really is.

"But I'm your best friend and you love me!" I say smirking.

"Well I'm tired of putting up with you! I'm out of here!" She suddenly yells.

I immediately look up from my script and see her stalking off out the room.

"Oh come on Carly!" I yell after her.

The slamming door is her reply.

I look over to Freddie and see his arms are crossed and annoyance is written all over his face.

"Well now you did it! You have officially made Carly Shaw crack! Congratulations! I hope you're happy!" He says to me.

I just roll my eyes at him. Why does everything always have to be about Carly?

"Sheesh! Calm down already with all the drama!" I say while taking a sip of my Dr. Pepper.

Suddenly I feel my Dr. Pepper being so rudely taken away from me. I look up and see Freddie holding my drink with a livid expression on his face.

"That girl you just ran out happens to be-

"The reason for your pathetic existence! I get it! You'll both get over it!" I say gripping my script. "Now give me back my drink Benson!" I say menacingly.

"For your information, I was going to say the reason why Icarly's ratings are so high! And no, I don't think I'm going to give your drink back to you because you're being a brat!" He yells at me.

I step closer to him eyeing him scathingly. We are having a eye war I swear I'm going to win! Because those crystal blue, intense, melt in your skin- Ugh! Focus Sam!

"Dang it Benson! Just give me my freaking drink back before I personally mutilate you!" I yell hitting him with my script.

He just stands there all glorious with that dang smirk eyeing me down.

"No."

And as soon as the words escape his lips I find myself lunging for him. He staggers backward in some shock but then resolve sets into place.

"There is no way you're getting this back!" He says while starting for the door.

Before I can even begin to fathom what I'm doing, I'm pouncing on his back attempting to get my drink. He struggles against my hold but because of the position we both find ourselves falling to floor. I land on top of his back and my drink has now spilled all over the floor but I can care less. I reach for the can but then I'm suddenly then being thrown to the side. Freddie is crawling to the can as fast as he can, but I catch his leg and try to drag him. He kicks his leg but I am gaining on him and soon I am hovering over body with my eye still on that blasted soda can.

Then I feel hands on my sides and suddenly I am pinned down. I grit back a gasp because it has now occurred to me that Freddie Benson is on top of me! He's no longer looking at the can but looking straight at me with the most intense stare ever.

"I told you, you weren't getting near that can Pucket!" He says as he grips my arms down to hard wooden floor.

I feel my heart sink because it's now I realize that all this was done over a stupid can, a can and nothing else. Tears threaten to sting my eyes because I want so badly for him to see me the way he sees Carly, but obviously that's not going to happen.

"Whatever Benson, Just get off me," I say seething.

He snickers a bit but then quickly gets off. I come to a standing position with a scowl on my face. Honestly my pride is hurt but it's more of my heart being broken. I can't stand the idea of him with her.

"Sorry for ruining your practice, I'll just go get the love of your life back." I say rudely as I make my way to the door.

"How can you honestly say something like that after all that?" He says behind me.

I stop dead in my tracks and my heart is beginning to accelerate. Breathing is becoming very hard at this moment, because I swear if he means exactly what I think he does I might just combust! Footsteps approach me from behind and I am shaken out of my reverie.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I say with wide eyes and I am so glad he can't see me right now. "I mean, we were fighting over a stupid can." I finish.

"That is bull crap and you know it." He says harshly.

Suddenly I turn around because how dare he have the audacity to say that to me!

"What! How dare you say that to me! In case you haven't noticed, I'm the one who has to put up with your stupid little crush on Carly! Who by the way, doesn't even know you exist beyond Icarly!" I yell flailing my arms up.

"Well it's not like you're the easiest person to deal with either! You drive me insane! You eat like a pig, you're always making rude comments to me, and well I'm just sick of you! And in case YOU haven't noticed, I can't stand you! I hate you!" He yells at me.

"Well I hate you too!" I scream back not even caring about the closeness of proximity we are.

"Well goodnight!" He yells in return.

"Well goodnight to you too!" I scream back swinging the door open and starting to walk through it.

Suddenly I am being grabbed by the arm, spun around having his lips full out fledge crushing into mine. My body is being shoved into the now closed door and my mouth is moving in sync with his own. My mind is spinning out of control trying to get a grip on myself and my now slipping sanity because I must be dreaming because this certainly cannot be real!

I open my eyes as soon as his lips are off me and I realize I didn't even know they were shut. His head is leaning on my head. I am about to kiss him back when a sudden thought, a certain wicked thought enters my mind. I push him off me and hear a faint groan emit from his mouth. I walk straight to the can that is now covered in Dr. Pepper and pick it up. After retrieving my can I turn around and walk straight back towards him.

"I win!" I say mischievously.

"Oh come on!" He says with a frustrated groan. "Only you would ruin this moment. Why can't you just be more cooperative" He finishes as I come face to face with him.

"Yeah I could, but then I wouldn't be Sam Pucket then now would I?" I say deviously capturing a small kiss but pulling back fairly quickly.

He runs his hands through his hair shakily, then places both of his hands on either side of my face looking at me with a broad smile.

"Yeah, I guess you wouldn't be and wouldn't have it any other way." He says planting another kiss on my lips.

I pull back quickly again.

"You are so corny." I say with a laugh.

"Jerk."

Yeah, we're going to be the death of each other someday.

So please review and tell me what you think!


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